Wedding Registries: Yay! or Nay?

Remember the days when having a registry was considered a social faux pas? Now it seems that registries have lost their stigma and found their way into acceptable wedding etiquette.

As a gift giver, I receive the wedding invitation, and then a week before the wedding I check their online gift registry. I am royally annoyed that all the “good” stuff is taken i.e. stuff that is about what I estimate is the cost of my meal ticket at the reception, and then some. It’s slim pickings with the $400 luxury items (meant for grandparents and rich uncles?), and bottom of the barrel odds and ends, like chip clips. That’s another one of my peeves, when people ask for tiny odds and ends like chip clips. If you ask me for chip clips, you’re getting chip clips, so don’t look so sad when you open your gift and find chip clips nestled in the box. Anyway, I will admit that initially it is less stressful to get a gift for a friend that you know they want because they asked for it. But being limited to the registry is stressful too. Especially when I procrastinate, and find that the items that are left on the registry are so old that they are out of stock, and will not be restocked.

I had to try this registry thing for myself. After a good hour or so of judicious browsing, I had 30 items total composed of a range of items from kitchenware to bedding. That is seriously all that I foresee us needing. Then, a pop up came up, and said “Really? That’s it? You’re not doing this right.” Okay, so maybe it didn’t say that, but it implied it, asking that I add more items, recommending 2xs the number of gifts as guests.

Having less items on a registry is a good thing. It gives people the freedom to give creatively, and to put some thought into it. It’s the thought that counts, after all. A modest registry also ensures that you do get what you need to get started off right. After that, cash is king.


5 thoughts on “Wedding Registries: Yay! or Nay?

  1. I’ve also heard the “have 2x number of guests registry items” thing. So stressful! We only have like ten items so far… and it’s mostly stuff like “well, our meat thermometer broke, we should probably get a new one”. The only thing keeping us going is remembering how much easier having a registry is for the guests. Although I wish there was a middle ground between asking for specific items and not saying anything at all. E.g., ask for “a photo frame” instead of “this particular photo frame from pottery barn”.

  2. Yeah I’m totally feeling this right now: “even if you don’t want to spend money on a fancy reception site/music/food/alcohol/etc., somebody involved may influence these decisions anyway”.

    Is there a “classy” way to ask for cash? I can imagine our guests, upon seeing an empty registry, would just start buying us random household tchotchkes.

  3. I like having the help of a registry because it makes it easier to buy a gift. And if all the good things are taken (we’re all too familiar with that phenomenon,) I don’t sweat it anymore. I just get them a gift card because they’re going to know how much I spent anyway. Some places like Crate and Barrel or Bed, Bath, and Beyond are great too because they’ll give you cash back!

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