Wedding Registries: Yay! or Nay?

Remember the days when having a registry was considered a social faux pas? Now it seems that registries have lost their stigma and found their way into acceptable wedding etiquette.

As a gift giver, I receive the wedding invitation, and then a week before the wedding I check their online gift registry. I am royally annoyed that all the “good” stuff is taken i.e. stuff that is about what I estimate is the cost of my meal ticket at the reception, and then some. It’s slim pickings with the $400 luxury items (meant for grandparents and rich uncles?), and bottom of the barrel odds and ends, like chip clips. That’s another one of my peeves, when people ask for tiny odds and ends like chip clips. If you ask me for chip clips, you’re getting chip clips, so don’t look so sad when you open your gift and find chip clips nestled in the box. Anyway, I will admit that initially it is less stressful to get a gift for a friend that you know they want because they asked for it. But being limited to the registry is stressful too. Especially when I procrastinate, and find that the items that are left on the registry are so old that they are out of stock, and will not be restocked.

I had to try this registry thing for myself. After a good hour or so of judicious browsing, I had 30 items total composed of a range of items from kitchenware to bedding. That is seriously all that I foresee us needing. Then, a pop up came up, and said “Really? That’s it? You’re not doing this right.” Okay, so maybe it didn’t say that, but it implied it, asking that I add more items, recommending 2xs the number of gifts as guests.

Having less items on a registry is a good thing. It gives people the freedom to give creatively, and to put some thought into it. It’s the thought that counts, after all. A modest registry also ensures that you do get what you need to get started off right. After that, cash is king.

Mainstream vs DIY Style Wedding?

To go mainstream or DIY-esque*? In searching for vendors, there is no middle ground. There’s either DJ #1 who has done tons of high school proms and comes with his own strobe light, or DJ #2, the anti-mainstream DJ, who used to DJ at the independent radio station and is an avid pottery artist by day. Do I want fanfare a la DJ #1, or do I want low key, socially awkward DJ #2?

To be honest, I loathe high school dances, scratch that, high school anything. Even my tolerance of high school aged people is on a case by case basis. This bit of logic would negate DJ #1 as a viable option, and seal the deal for DJ #2.

Okay, so I go with DJ #2, but what separates him from my socially awkward ipod? Is there a tactful way to ask him that? I started to ask the question on our phone conversation, but decidedly gave him the benefit of the doubt, and asserted that he can do things that an ipod player cannot…what exactly that might be? The jury is still out.

It really comes down to style. I want things to read well, but putting together the DJ, photographer, caterer, florist, baker is like cutting magazine letters out for a ransom note; a little helter skelter. Surely a vintage photographer would clash with the mainstream DJ? I feel as though the path is diverging into mainstream and alternative. To be honest, I am about as vintagely inspired as a J.Crew would get, which I would quantify as “a little, but not very.” Perhaps I should play it safe, stick to convention, and accept responsibility for my role in getting involved in something as conventionally uncool as getting legally married…DJ #1.

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